This is a beautiful October Glory Maple tree in our front yard. Being home most days I have had the joy of watching it make its fall transformation. Last evening I walked outside to see the most amazing sunset. The picture does not do justice to what I was able to stand there and soak in. God's amazing glory and the gift of slowing down life to enjoy these pleasures I would normally ignore, gifts that have come in spite of the way they got here. Funny that I am making my own transformations during the time the earth is making hers. I know how I feel about hers, it's mine I am not so sure about some days. Some days I just don't know how to feel. I stood in awe looking at that sunset and was reminded how much bigger all of this is than me. I only hope that no matter what happens, I will never forget to "stop and smell the roses".

We need a new kind of prayer. As I have said the battle we face is both scary and unsure. The one thing I am learning about this melanoma is even the best doctors in the world just don't know much about it. They know even less about how to treat it. I have been doing a lot of reading about interferon, the treatment that has been suggested, and the more I learn about it the less excited I am about doing it. As I said in a previous blog, it is not designed to kill cancer but rather to boost my immune system which they think helps fight any cancer cells that may return in the future. Statistically it is supposed to reduce the recurrence rate from 85% to 70%, and possibly push back the time frame of the recurrence. It won't stop it, or even prevent it. It is a controversial topic in the medical community. My doctors here are suggesting I not do it. The doctors at MD Anderson and another well respected cancer hospital are saying I should. Now if I only had one of those magic eight balls! The problem for me is the side effects can be brutal. I have read many stories where long term mental and physical effects were too much. Some of them, that I won't go into, were at best extreme. There are also those who go through it without any problems, even returning to a normal life during the treatments. All without any guarantee that it will even be effective. One full year of almost daily injections, possible bad side effects, and not a single promise that it will do even the slightest bit of good. Or it may help. For me, the definition of dilemma. Thus the request for a new kind of prayer. Pray for us to have wisdom in making this decision. Pray we will find the guidance that we need. Pray that if we choose to do it that the side effects will be minimal. Pray that Landry Jones will win games for OU. Wait sorry wrong prayer! Seriously I really just don't know what to do. I don't like not having an answer. We are going to meet with more doctors over the coming days and will make a decision soon. As soon as we know we will let all of you know. Please keep praying.

In the mean time I am going to try and keep things slow, and continue to to enjoy all the changes going on in and around me. When I go slower I can smell the roses without cutting my nose on the thorns!

Remember everyday to put one foot in front of the other, drink a lot of water, and don't forget to breath.......