Back to Houston

We I am pretty sure that I haven't said this lately but it is hot and dry here. Really hot and really dry. Did I tell you it's hot here, oh and dry, really dry. I cannot believe I am gonna say this but it is making snow look really good, and I am not a big fan of snow. I tried to do some things outside yesterday but it was just miserable and I couldn't stay out there.

I made a commitment to be honest on here so that is what I am going to do today. Last week when we got home from Nashville, I was in a bad place. A really bad place. As I stated in the last blog this is the first time we have never had a game plan. When we got home the reality of it all set in. We are running out of options. No one seems to know what to do and everything we try fails. And I allowed myself to get lost in my head and all of the what if's. Finally on Friday I made myself get up and mow the yard. (And yes it was really hot and dry!) My wonderful wife knows me all too well and knows how to handle me. She quietly supported me, and checked on me, and reminded me that we are in this thing together. We were able to spend and evening together with the kids outside grilling steaks and playing football and it was just what I needed. Then this morning I received and email from an old friend from my childhood days that I have lost touch with. He reminisced about childhood memories and gave me words of encouragement. It was just what I needed. I have had several people who talk about how well we have handled all of this. People have complimented us on our resolve and attitude since this started and overall we have been positive and upbeat. We made a commitment to face this head on with a positive attitude, tried to keep life as normal as possible, done what the doctor's have said, stuck together as a family. And we will continue to do the same thing. We will continue to face this head on with a great attitude, humor, and as much strength as we can muster.

Why I share all of this today is that I am reminded that I am human. I am going to have those "days". I will tell you, this is the most scared I have been through this entire two year journey. I will also say that after almost a year of surgeries and brutal treatments, I have a hard time some days getting excited about doing more. I will not lie, there have been brief moments where I have thought about saying enough is enough. But I can also say that the will to live usually gives me all the motivation that I need to get busy again, whatever the treatment may be. I guess I share all of this because we said we would always be honest about what is going on. And the other reason is to again say thank you to all of you for your thoughts and prayers. It always seems like I get a text message or phone call or email from someone at just the right time. And it isn't about the words that are said, it's about the contact with someone who cares. So thank you. I am much better now, I guess you could say I am back.

On another note, as soon as we got home I got in touch with MD Anderson. After several days of communicating with them we have an appointment next Thursday the 28th. We are looking forward to that and will let you all know what is said and done.

Remember every day to put one foot in front of the other, drink a lot of water, and don't forget to breath........................................