Friday, November 19, 2010

My Wife

I am sitting, once again, in the hotel in Houston. It is a beautiful morning here. It is cool at night, just perfect enough to open the windows and enjoy the cool air. As much as I am enjoying the weather, I am ready to get back to Oklahoma and I don't care what the weather is like there! There is simply no place like home.

The title of this one is my wife. I have been on Facebook the last few minutes chatting with some friends. Both of them, as they always do, asked about Rebecca. As I sit in the quiet in the other room, it got me to thinking. What an incredible woman she is. I realized that some times it is so easy for me to get caught up in my own physical pain, the cancer, and all that comes with it, I forget what she must be going through. She gets as close to cancer as a person can without having it themselves. I have been reflecting back on all that she has done, and the emotions that she must be feeling as we go through this journey. I realized on such an acute level, what an incredibly strong woman she is. She keeps this family running. She makes sure that the kids have what they need, making sure they are in basketball, at practice, have rides home from school, keeps the house clean when we are home, grocery shops, cooks and works as much as she can while at home. With me, she keeps my schedule of blood work and doctor's appointments straight and keeps my medicine filled and makes sure I take them when I am supposed to. She has to flush my pick line everyday and has to change the bandage on it once a week. Just changing the bandage takes about twenty minutes and isn't an easy task. She and my mom had to take two classes at MD Anderson just to learn how to change the bandage! And when they did they had to demonstrate on me that they knew how to change it properly before they would let us leave the hospital. Whenever I take a shower she has to wrap and tape it with cling wrap to keep it from getting wet. Whenever we meet with the doctor's she is the one who takes notes, asks the important questions and then helps me understand what was discussed. She leaves the kids for an entire week each time we have to go to Houston. Never easy for her or them. She is my public information officer, nurse, family CEO, mother, partner and best friend.

But what I have been thinking about more this morning is what she must be going through emotionally. What a strain all this must be on her. But more than that, I tried to mentally switch roles and put myself in her place. I couldn't do it. As a spouse, the worst thing you can hear is that your partner has a disease that could take their life. Especially for two people who are so young and at the beginning of their marriage. (Yes, I said young. 39 is not that old!) I know that her fear is as much as mine has been through this journey. One of my biggest struggles from the beginning has been, this isn't fair to her or the kids. But life isn't fair. But she keeps going, putting one foot in front of the other, and not one time has she complained. Not once has she whined, griped, asked why, or complained about what she is going through. She simply does whatever needs to be done and does it with an attitude that makes me jealous! She is our rock, steady and strong and level headed when the rest of us aren't. She laugh's and jokes with me when I am down, lovingly get's on to me when I need it, calms my fears when I am scared, and gives me strength everyday. She know's me better than I know myself. She has stood beside me, without question, everyday. She is an incredible woman, wife, and mother who deserves all the credit.

Thank you Rebecca for being with me and teaching me what unconditional love is really all about. I love you!

Remember every day to put one foot in front of the other, drink a lot of water and don't forget to breath...............

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