The saying if it can go wrong it will has truly applied to us as of late. Both cars in the shop, the garbage disposal quit, Rebecca's computer crashed and it's permanent, and our horse and colt died during birth. Last Sunday Rebecca went into to work to take care of a few things and while getting out of the car fell and landed on her elbow. The x-ray's were negative, but it is very swollen and she is in a lot of pain. She is off work until the doctor's release her. She has an appointment with an Orthopedic specialist this coming Monday to try and determine if there is any major nerve or ligament damage. I am not feeling well most days but still try and do as much as I can. I don't share all this to complain but simply to say I have been reminded that no matter what happens on the cancer front, life doesn't stop. All of this, combined with the latest news from the doctor's, had made it tough on Rebecca and I. We are learning each day about simply putting that one foot in front of the other.
The truth is I have been reminded about a lot of things the last couple of weeks. I have been reminded how important the people in my life are. We have had family and friends who have stepped up and gone above and beyond to help us the last several weeks with different needs. We cannot say thank you enough. As I have stated many times this journey cannot be done without each of you. We truly have been reminded that life doesn't stop no matter what we are going through. And I am learning all over again that getting mad about it doesn't fix it or change it. It only makes it worse. I am discovering that I have now have physical limitations that I have to accept, like it or not. So I am learning how to either do things differently or accept the fact that there are some things I may not be able to do anymore. And there have been a lot of things happen that I won't even discuss here.
Combined with all of that, and especially because of the news from the doctor, I am reminded that I have to do my best to let go and trust God. It ain't easy. I have to be honest, I know that on the cancer front, we are running out of options. I have never been so scared. And I am reminded that no matter how bad I want to be, or no matter how hard I try, I am not in control. I haven't learned how to completely let go. I would like to think that I am getting a little better then something happens and I am reminded how I am not. But I still try every day. I do my best to put my trust in God. It's when people like I mentioned above either call or send words of encouragement, or do something to help, that I am reminded how God takes care of us and gives us the strength we need each day. It's the people. It's my family and friends that God uses to help get me through each day. So we continue on, putting one foot in front of the other, and doing our best to trust God. I need to refocus on just enjoying each day that I am given and not worrying about the things I cannot control. So today I will just enjoy the day no matter what it brings and focus on my family.
Remember everyday to put one foot in front of the other, drink a lot of water, and don't forget to breath...............
Praying for you tonight. I am a friend og Gary and Jeanie's and have been following your situation through them.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, it sounds like you had a huge pile of challenges dumped out at your place last week. I am so sorry about the fall, the loss of the colt, and the car troubles. Too much to process!!
Mar Herman
Words fail us, Andy, but we hope you know our hearts. Praying daily for you and your family as you go through this fire. Love you!! Rob and Kathy
ReplyDeleteKnow that your in my prayers nightly my dearest friend and your strength and spirit give me inspiration. Love you brother. Keep your chin up and know that your family and you are in my thoughts and prayers as I drive these streets every night. God Bless you Andy.
ReplyDeleteAndy, I have been praying for you and your family ever since Jeannie put you on our prayer list. I am amazed at the courage and spiritual faith you still have. Cancer is awaful but God is still in control and he is using you even though you may not know it. You are touching lives with your faith in God. I am so sorry to hear about your cancer and the time you have left but make the most of it and look to God for your daily strength. He will not put on you more than you can bear he only lifts you up to touch others along the way. God bless you and your family and I will keep you all in my prayers. Joyce
ReplyDeleteAndy, first, you should be a writer as a profession. Your stuff is clear and communicates emotion as well as thoughts. Wish I could do that. I honestly wish I could take some of the pain for you. I guess all I can do is hurt for you, and admire your courage, and pray for you. Sounds like your new place is just what the doctor ordered, no pun intended. But, it is good medicine. One thing for sure, you have a great mom. I don't know of a sweeter, more loving woman on the face of the earth. And, I am thankful that you have Rebecca. Hey, I had a dream of a fishing trip last week. Come on down! We caught stripers from 3 to 10 for four hours on Toledo Bend! I love you, bud, and you are usually in my thoughts and regularly in my, and our church's, prayers. Give Rebecca and the kids a hug from a grumpy on man in Swamp Land.
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