Round 4

Greetings from the Wileman house. I hope this blog finds each of you well, warm, and done with your Christmas shopping. I know not all of you can be finished though because not all of you have asked me what I want! Just kidding. I still have a few things left to get myself, but I just cannot stand going into stores this time of year. I actually went with Rebecca the other day and was quite proud of myself. I think I really surprised her when I suggested that we finish whatever shopping she had left. I won't do that again I promise!

Well Round 4 is officially in the books. As I stated before we were able to do it here in Tulsa which was great. I went Monday through Thursday for about three hours each day. Then on Friday I had to go in for a shot that is designed to make new cells. It was a difficult week for me. I am finding that each round is a little harder than the last. I still don't have any nausea to speak of, and my appetite remains good, but I had other issues. Basically my blood pressure stayed too high through most of the week, I am having some sleeplessness and joint and body pain. I also am having a disconnected feeling. It's kind of strange and hard to explain but I will just stare off into space, have a hard time getting things to go from my brain to my mouth, and just cannot seem to process things in my head. I am also struggling a little with the whole process. I told Rebecca the other day one of the frustrating things for me is there is no end in sight for all of this. No one can say on this day and time that this will be over and you can get back to living. And I understand that no one can, it just doesn't make it any easier for me. But we plug on. We will go to Houston on December 29th and 30th for the next round of testing. We will then see what the tumors are doing, what the doctor's say and go from there.

I have also been reminded that no matter what, life doesn't stop. I noticed the other day that the back bumper on my car had been hit and no one told us! (Bumper is totaled.) And two of the kids are sick. High fever's, coughing and just miserable. I am doing my best to keep from catching it but I don't have much hope. But we keep on putting one foot in front of the other and doing the best we can. We have so much to be thankful for this season. It could always be worse!

Remember every day to put one foot in front of the other, drink a lot of water, and don't forget to breath..................

Upate

Well this one will be short. No ranting or raving about things of the world. No going on and on about the things floating around him my head. I won't wax poetic about high gas prices, the government, health care, the leak we had last week that drove my water bill up three times the normal bill, the fact that there is nothing on TV when you sit around the house most of the day, bad drivers, cold weather, eating out, the holidays, traffic, and........oops sorry bout that. I digress once again.

The good news is we found a very good doctor here that is willing to follow the treatment plan given by MD Anderson. We met with him this week and were very comfortable with him, his staff and his office. So long story short, I will start the next round on Monday in Tulsa. We are very grateful. We will still have to go to Houston December the 27th through the 29th for more testing. They will do a full battery of tests to check the progress of the treatments and then we will go from there. MD Anderson and our doctor there will still be the main doctor and hospital no matter what. But we are going to take advantage of doing as much as we can here. Over all I feel good. I still have no major side effects. The energy level is still not normal but that is to be expected. And we are still grateful for the lack of side effects.

Not much else is new. We are getting ready for Christmas like everyone else. Rebecca has gone back to work and is dealing with a crazy schedule. The kidos are good and definitely ready for Christmas. And one thing is sure, we are enjoying being home! Thank you again for all of the thoughts, prayers, calls, texts, and cards. We can't do this without you!

Remember everyday to put one foot in front of the other, drink a lot of water, and don't forget to breath.....................................

I never would have thought.............

Wow, I just looked down at my watch and realized it is already December! Where does the time go? And yes, as I get older time seems to go even faster. I can honestly say one thing for sure, when this year began I never, not in a million years, would have been able to guess how this year would end. Never saw it coming, not quite like it has. All I can say is this year has been many things. One of them is the "I never would have thought" year. Let me explain.

"I never would have thought that I would actually work less days this year than I have worked, and still have my job!" Okay, that is one example. I wanted to give you a little taste to help you understand my thinking. I sometimes use the term "cancer fallout". It is actually interchangeable with the term "I never would have thought" when I use it. Now that we are hopefully on the same page I shall begin. I will start with some of the more obvious:

1. I never would have thought that I would end the year as a stage four cancer patient. It's not something you add to your New Year's resolutions or a to-do list.

2. I never would have thought that I would sit on the couch so much that the cushion's would take on and hold the shape of my backside. They did. Enough said.

3. I never would have thought that I would be able to tell you all the good places to stop between here and Houston, TX. Just ask me, I really do know a great beef jerky place.

4. I never would have thought that I would spend so much time in Texas. I am sorry to all my Texan friends but I still feel a little dirty when I get home from there. I have to ask Bob Stoops to forgive me.

5. I never would have thought that I would actually be able to give a guy in Houston directions on how to get somewhere in Houston. It really happened at a stop light, and he lives there!

6. I never would have thought that I would get used to being stuck in the back of the hand with needles. Wait, never mind, still not used to it.

7. I never would have thought that I would spend so much time in doctor's offices and hospital's. It's payback for all those years I refused to go to the doctor. I call it a conspiracy.

8. I never would have thought that I would be on a first name basis with someone at the health insurance company. I am still deciding if I should buy her a Christmas present. Nope never mind.

9. I never would have thought that I would get caught with chewing tobacco in my mouth, in the hospital room at the MD Anderson Cancer Hospital, by the doctor, with my mother in the room. True story! hehehehehehe.....................

10. I never would have thought that I would see so many people, especially in Owasso, Collinsville, and Law Enforcement, do so much for us to allow us to fight this fight with all we have. But you did.

11. I never would have thought that this journey would bring me even closer to people in my life who I care so much about and who care so much about me. But thank God it did.

12. I never would have thought that this journey would actually push some people further away from me. Sad, but very true. (My commitment to honesty.)

I could go on and on. So much has truly happened that I haven't expected. Some good and some not good. It's part of life. But I think what has been most surprising to me is all of the good that has happened in my life in spite of such a bad situation. Some of it is truly funny, and that has been one of the great "cancer fallouts". I have said from the beginning I had two choices that day the doctor told us the news. I could give up and die, or I could fight and make the most of each day. I chose, and still choose the latter. And humor is a huge part of getting better. I love to laugh at situations, and love even more to laugh at myself. I can do some pretty funny stuff and trust me I don't mean to most of the time. And there has been some rough times as well. There really are people in my life who have gone the other direction for some reason. Maybe it's fear, maybe it's making them deal with their own realities, I really don't know. But it breaks my heart. There have been some day's that just aren't good for me. Some day's I have focused on the wrong things, or allowed the negative to control my thinking. I am not perfect. But what I can say is this, one of the strangest "fallouts" for me has been, in some ways this has been one of the best things to happen to me. It has changed my perspective on life in so many ways it would take me forever to write about all of them. Hopefully it is, and will make me a better human being. Hopefully, no matter how much time I have left, I will leave this world a better place than I found it. (I am not saying this is going to get me. Let's face it, we don't know how much time we have on this earth. If the Tulsa Transit ever start's running a bus route, in my neighborhood, in Owasso, and a bus comes by at the exact moment that I step into the street, and it is exceeding the speed limit of 25 mph, and it doesn't brake or swerve to miss me, I could be hit and killed by a bus!) It's possible. It' all up to me and the choices I make. Aw, I think I will save that for another day.

Remember everyday to put one foot in front of the other, drink a lot of water, and don't forget to breath..................