Finally the sure signs of spring. Warm weather and wind. Wind that foreshadows the coming storms. I love spring time. By far my favorite time of year. I love to sit on the porch, out of the rain of course, and watch the storms lumber through. The thunder, the lighting, and that fresh smell after the rain promising green grass, blooming trees and flowers. And nights slept with the windows open. So much better than cold and snow, especially the older I get. The body is much happier.

Before I get into why I am writing today, let me first give a background. A month or so ago, there was a meningitis out break in a small town called Oologah about eight miles north of Collinsville. (Collinsville is where I work.) Several young children at the elementary school were infected. Three passed away. One was a young girl who actually lived in Collinsville. Several days after she passed away I spoke with her father. Heartbreaking. One 7 year old, Jeremiah , was infected but is still alive. That's the good news for him. The horrible news is he has had to have both his arm's and leg's amputated, and is currently out of state to have his facial reconstruction surgery. This morning several of the local Fraternal Order of Police Lodges came together and put on a fundraiser. The Lodges from Collinsville, Owasso, Tulsa, Broken Arrow, Jenks and Glenpool each set up at different locations in their cities and took donations. I was amazed as we stood in the bank parking lot and watched person after person donate money to his family. Some giving five dollars, some hundreds of dollars, but each giving what they could. It was simply humbling to watch. It gave me a little faith in humanity again. One of the fallout's of being a Police Officer is you become much more pessimistic and extremely sceptical of people. We don't usually see the good side of humanity. At the Collinsville/Owasso location we ended up raising $9700.00, with the combined total of all locations around $40,000.00 Absolutely amazing!

It's been on my mind all day. While we were standing there this morning we talked about how hard it would be to have all your limbs removed. Not to mention the agony the parents must be going through right now. At some point during the day, and for no explainable reason, a conversation I had with an old friend the other day came to mind. We were chatting on the Internet and he said something to the affect of let's have lunch sometime, you have quiet a story to tell. I didn't think much of it at first, and I am not really sure why it stuck in my head, but I think I am starting to understand now. I began to realize that no matter what, life is going to deal us all hard times. Things that, like I stated in my previous blog, are out of our control. Being diagnosed with cancer, losing a job, other illnesses, death, things that happen due to no fault of our own. It got me to thinking about my life. Yes, I have had some rough times. Especially lately. My family and I have been through a lot. But as I pondered my whole life the thing that keep resonating in my mind was most of my hard times in life were due to my poor decision making. It occured to me that there are two types of rough times, those that we have no control over, and those that happen due to poor choices. Most of my "bad" times were created by a poor decisions I had made. I know that most wouldn't find this to be a revelation. Most people figure that out pretty early in life. I guess I knew it as well, I just had never thought about it before.

As I think about it I guess the reason it is on my mind is two-fold. One, make better decisions. Life is going to hand me enough without my adding to it. There is no sense in me adding to my own problems by making bad choices. I have realized over the last few years I have made better decisions. Granted, I still have my moments of brain dead. And some decisions I make, I may have to wait to see if it was the right one or not. Sometimes the only judge of a good or bad decision is time. But I try harder today. The other issue on my mind is pity. There have been times in my life that I have pity partied about situations and circumstance. I now realize, especially when the "bad" time was due to my poor decision, that I have no right to pity party. It's like never brushing my teeth then whining about a tooth ache, or not paying rent then complaining about being homeless. Then, and this is what I was reminded of while raising money that morning, it could always be worse. There are many people out there who have it a lot worse due to no fault of their own. Those children and families did not ask to get sick. They did nothing to deserve it. But it happened. It reminded me how short my memory is. While I was sick, one of our favorite sayings was, it can always be worse. And it can. I guess the main lesson in all of this for me has been, once again, gratitude. How soon I forget. And no matter what happens pity serves me no purpose. It keeps me from moving forward. It keeps me in a place in my mind that blocks out all reason and sanity. It is a poison that effects every area of my life. Bad things are going to happen. We live in a world of sin and imperfection. The key for me will always be, when those times come, how will I handle it. What will I chose? To be as positive as possible and move forward, or stay stuck in pity? Hopefully I will also remember when making decisions not to add to those times!

Remember every day to put one foot in front of the other, drink a lot of water, and don't forget to breath.........

Treading Lightly

One of my favorite movie lines is from the movie Con air. It is about bad convicts who are being transported on an airplane, and while in air, they take over the plane. After taking control, they are playing the song Sweet Home Alabama on a radio. The character played by Steve Buscemi looks at the character played by Nicolas Cage and says, "define irony, a bunch of convicts singing and dancing on a plane by a band that died in a plane crash". I have my own definition of irony. The first day of a long awaited spring, and it's freezing cold and snowing. Gotta love it. Me and my guys got to spend over an hour standing on the highway last night, after people decided to start playing bumper cars on the frozen bridges. Come on warm weather!

I am going to to go in a different direction. They are subjects with which I will tread lightly. Most of you who know me know that I don't get too involved in political banter, try not to rail too much about the going's on in the world, and try to mostly mind my own business in general. But the last few weeks things have happened and are happening in this world that give me pause. The first is Washington. I never cease to be amazed at what they do. I am fully convinced that there is some sort of alien bubble around them that prevents their return to reality. I will keep most of my personal opinions about them, and the health care bill, and the president, to myself. What I will say is as a working, tax paying American, I do not like what I see and hear coming from Washington. We are headed in a bad direction. Then there is the Southern Baptists'. I have mostly lost touch with them and what they do or don't do. But Kenneth Star as the president of Baylor University? Really? I won't even go into that. Then my current favorite is the Tulsa County Sheriff attempting to take control of local Police Departments in an attempt to create a metro department. Make no mistake, it is basically a hostile take over where the municipal officers like me have no say at all. I would love to go into all the details and how I feel about it but that would take an entire book to cover it all. What I will say is that it is simply an attempt by the Mayor of Tulsa and the Sheriff to gain more control and power, and destroy the Fraternal Order of Police in Tulsa County. It will cause good, hard working Police Officers to lose their jobs and their retirement pension for no other reason than power and control by political leaders who are power hungry. The cities we work for are not broke. One of the cities affected has had the best and fastest growing sales tax income in Tulsa County for the last year or more. We as Officer's are very much afraid that we could be unemployed sometime over the next two years, for no other reason than power and money. Period. It is a scary and sobering possibility.

So, I know some of you may be asking, where did this all come from? I came home the other day, after hearing the news about the Sheriff's plans, and after a not so good day at work, and was very scared and angry. My thoughts were two fold. What is it about power that makes people loose touch with reality? The saying power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely, keeps running through my head. It seems to me that more and more we seem to be losing the freedoms this country was founded on. I hate to sound like some sort of extremist because I am not, but at some point when do I say enough is enough and become at least more active in saying enough is enough. I was having a conversation with a friend the other day. He said something very interesting. He said his wife looked at him and asked him, when was the last time you prayed for our government? It took me back for a moment. I haven't done that in a very long time. I think I will start. I think we all need to. I really will stop before I voice too many of my personal opinions.

The second, and more pertinent thought for me, was control. Another one of my favorite movie lines is from "Day's of Thunder". Nicole Kidman's character tells Tom Cruise's character, "control is an illusion you infantile egomaniac". It always hits me between the eyes. Control. One of the biggest lesson's I have learned in life is just how little control I have. Sure I can control if I go to work or not, or if I wash the car or not, or if I put the trash out. But I cannot ultimately control the weather, what goes on in Washington, or Tulsa County, or cancer. I went through a rough period in life several years ago and one of the biggest lessons that I had to work on was control. I began to understand that I cannot control people. No matter how bad I want to, no matter how hard I try, I cannot control people and what they do or say. I also cannot control life and what goes on. I had to begin to learn how to take care of me and my decisions, and let go of everything else. Don't get me wrong, I am not very good at it. But what I began to learn, and have been reminded of lately, is that control is somewhat of an illusion. And if I spend my time upset, mad, or worrying about things I ultimately cannot control I am waisting my precious time and energy. When you get that "phone all" from the doctor who says "I don't normally do this over the phone but in your case time is of the essence", you have cancer, you learn a lot about control! So I have had to step back, take a deep breath, and do my best to give these things that are going on to God and trust they will work out. Besides if I did have that kind of control I would probably just mess things up even worse. God knows better then me for sure.

On the health front. Not much new. I have had pneumonia for the last couple of weeks and have been at home again on the couch. I hopefully am on the down hill slide now. Unfortunately I think Rebecca has it now! I go to my regular doctor on Monday with some new issues to deal with. I will go to the Oncologist in May for my next check up. Other than that we are very ready for some spring and warmer weather. We are very ready.

Remember everyday, to put one foot in front of the other, drink a lot of water, and don't forget to breath..........

Hello Again

Wow, it has been a while. In many ways it seems like just yesterday this journey started, and in some ways it seems like years ago. One thing I do know is that I haven't done a very good job keeping everyone updated on how things are going. One problem has been this Blogger site changed it's log in process. For those of you who know me well know that I am computer illiterate and get easily frustrated. I have tried several times to log in but have not been able to. Instead of taking my time and trying to figure it out, or asking for help, I just stop trying! I really don't even know what I did to get logged in this time, but somehow I did. I do apologize for not keeping everyone updated, hopefully I have the log-in issue fixed and will do a better job of updating.

Well, the short version is, everything is clear! I have had three more moles, or bumps, removed and checked, and all came back fine. I had a CT Scan done of my neck and chest area because of a new cough, and it was clear as well. I continue to see three different doctors every three months. The regular trips to the dermatologist have turned out to be very humbling. Keep in mind, as we have stated before in the blog, we are forever grateful for the dermatologist. I truly believe it is because of her actions, and getting us to the surgeon as fast as she did, is a big part of why I am well today. But, and I won't go into explicit detail, but every three months I have a full body scan done to check for any new spots. And when I say full body scan, I mean full body scan. The way the Lord brought me into this world, with three to four women in the room kind of body scan. As Forrest Gump would say, that's all I have to say about that. My arm is healing well. I had my last visit with the surgeon in February and he said it is doing well and will continue to change in color and form over the next year. I did have quite a bit of pain in my arm for the first several months but that too seems to be almost gone. I have no feeling on the graft itself due to the removal of the nerves in that area. I had a new first experience the other day with it. As I was getting ready for work I noticed a small scratch and scab right in the middle of the graft and had no idea how it got there. Reminding me I have to be careful because I can hit it and not even realize that I have done anything to it. I will also have to be very careful with it in the sun. The doctor told me that sunlight can damage the graft if I don't keep it covered or keep sun block on it while I am outside. I told my wife one day that the cancer has seemed to open Pandora's box to a whole slew of other health issues. I am on several new medications for blood pressure and acid reflux. I started having a very hard time sleeping just after the surgery which finally led to me having a sleep study done. The result was I stopped breathing 87 times in an hour. Now I have a CPAP machine that I wear while I sleep. It is taking some getting used to but I am finally able to sleep again which is wonderful.

Speaking of cancer. Two years ago I took part in the Relay for Life event in Owasso. Most of you have probably heard of it. It is a fundraising event for cancer research. Companies and people form teams and ask for donations. Then the teams walk laps for the donations. I have to be honest, the reason I did it two years ago was because Rebecca was on her team from work. And I was there because we were dating and I was there for her. This year, as you can imagine, it means a great deal more to me. We will once again be on the City of Owasso team. I will get to wear the "Survivor" t-shirt and take part in the "Survivor" dinner. And we will walk to raise money. And yes, we may be asking for donation's from many of you. I normally don't like to do that sort of thing. I don't like being pestered by fundraisers and don't like doing it to others, but this is something we feel strongly about. I don't know what it is, but it seems like there are more and more people we know who are being affected by cancer. I know of two people who have lost their battle with cancer just in the last month. One of whom was not much older than me. I will let you know more over the next few weeks.

I did something I haven't done since all this started. I went back on my logs and read them again from the beginning. I know the biggest reason we started this was to keep everyone informed. And yes it was therapeutic for me. But I became even more grateful I did this as I read them. It was such a tremendous reminder for me of the things we have been through. And it also answered some questions for me. One of the biggest is yes, it is easy for me to forget as I put more time between me and the beginning. I really needed that. It has become easy for me to forget some days. I have had more day's than I care to admit that I have gotten caught back up in the things in life that really don't matter. I whine to much about things that don't matter. I have allowed things, people, and situations to rent space in my brain when I shouldn't. I must remember my own words, all that really matters is family and friends. I am going to make an effort to blog again on a regular basis, if for no other reason than to help me stay focused.

Thank you again to each of you for all of you love, support and prayers. May God bless each of you the way he has us.

Remember everyday to put one foot in front of the other, drink a lot of water and don't forget to breath......

Future Posts

It is another cold, winter day here in Oklahoma. We had more snow last night but thankfully most of it seems to be melting away on the roads. It's funny, I asked several of the old timers in Collinsville what the almanac said about what kind of winter we were going to have and most of them said cold and dry. Oh well at least they got the cold part right.



A wonderful thing took place last night. My sister, brother, and I converged on our parents house with families in tow. It was the first time we have all been together under the same roof. It was so great to be there as a family, even if it was only for a short time. For those of you who may not know my brother and his wife live in Phoenix and my sister and her family live in Manhattan (Kansas). So it is difficult for all of us to be together. I told my mom at one point it hadn't been that loud in their house in a long time and it was great to hear.



One of the many things that I have learned over the last several months, and have expressed often, is that family is one of the most important things in my life. During my time stuck on the couch at home, I realized that I could never again allow things to get in the way of my relationship with my family. Too many times I see families who allow politics, religion, friends, opinions, different ways of raising children, different choices, and other laundry list of things, come between them. Sometimes to the point of not seeing or speaking to one another. I don't understand. I decided that no matter what, I will not allow that to happen with me and my family. Now, don't get me wrong, I will not change who I am or what I believe when I am with my family. There has been a rule with our family for quite a while now and it is simply, when we are together we will not discuss politics, religion or raising children. Period. Call it what you want, respecting each others beliefs or agreeing to disagree, but that's what we do and it works. We know we don't all agree. Some of us are on opposite ends of the political spectrum. We have different likes and dislikes. Our parents raised us to be our own people and it worked. The bottom line for me is we need our families. I need my family. When I got sick my family was there for me without question. All of those other issues, that just don't matter, were gone and we were left to focus on us. In the end all of those other things don't matter a bit. Family matters, we matter.



To my family; thank you for all that you have done for me through this time. I shutter to think what this would have been like without you. I don't think I could have done it. Each of you have been there for me, unconditionally, with love, prayer and support. This has brought us even closer together and I thank God everyday for that. I LOVE YOU GUYS! Thank You!



Well on the cancer front, the roller coaster has started again. We go to the Oncologist next week for our next check-up. I don't know what kind of testing they will do but I told my wife and mom last night that I am getting nervous again. It's those same old feelings again. I guess it is normal. And I am sure that it will happen every time. I just wasn't ready for it. But it will be like this every three months from now on. Hopefully it will get better. I have also decided that I will write something once a week and try and have it posted each Friday. I will also post as soon as we know what testing will be done and what the results are.



Remember everyday to put one foot in front of the other, drink a lot of water, and don't forget to breath.......

Scars

Okay for those of you who prayed for a white Christmas in Oklahoma, it worked. I just finished a 12 hour shift, on Christmas Eve, in about 8 inches of snow. And yes the crazies were out. We didn't want to take anyone to jail on Christmas Eve, or in this weather, but she left us no choice. I never cease to be amazed at human beings and the things they do. One of these day's I am going to write a book. I wish I could tell you about it but I can't. You may not believe me anyway. I am still amazed!

A thought come to me today. My wife Rebecca, our kids and I, had my Mom, Dad and Cousin Tom over today for Christmas. It occurred to me before they got here this morning that this would be the first time I have ever had my parents in my house for Christmas. That, combined with the fact that I am still alive and not sick in a hospital, made today the best Christmas I have ever had. We did the gift thing, yes the kids got spoiled which is a whole other story, then cooked a big breakfast, ate, sat by the fire, and spent time together. I just cannot express how much it meant to me. As you can expect, at some point in the conversation, my cancer came up. Mom and Dad hadn't seen my arm in a while where they did the surgery. They were commenting on how good it looks, and how well it is healing. I then made the statement that I have made many times over the last month, "I am so grateful to be alive and well, and not in a hospital or sick in bed". And I mean it. I am. I never expected, when we heard those words, to be back at work, in the cold and snow, by Christmas. As I said those words I had the same thought I have every time I say it. I hope I don't ever forget. Then it hit me, the scar. I have a huge void on my right forearm where the skin graft is that is just hard to explain. The skin is a different color, there is the void that will always be there and the color is different. People who see it and don't know me ask me what happened. I tell them. The very next thought was the scars on Jesus, you will know him by his scars. If it is you, can I feel the scars on you hands. When I finally went back to work and was able to uncover my arm, my wife and I talked about how it looks, and how people would react to it. It has never been anything that embarrassed me. On the contrary, I have been proud of it. But only now realizing why I am proud of it. And what I realized today was my gratitude is permanently on my right arm, if I allow it.

What is it about scars? Most of us try to hide them. Especially if we feel they are ugly or are in a place that aren't easily hidden. We try to cover them with make-up, clothes, surgeries, whatever the case may be. Some of our scars aren't so easy to see. Some of them are emotional. Some of them we don't want to talk about. Some of them, maybe we have never told anyone. Maybe we think others won't think them a big deal or won't understand. Some of them maybe we don't need to talk about to everyone. But we all have scars no matter their source or whether they are physical or emotional. I think we all have some of both. Not all to the same extreme, but they are there. As I thought about all of this I reflected on the process of a scar. Something bad happened in the beginning. Some sort of damage was done that caused us pain, either physical or emotional damage. Then there was the process of healing. If it was physical, there may have been bandaid's, stitches, medicine, any number of options. If it was emotional, there may have been counseling, talking to someone, support groups, religion, the list goes on. Then, and I suppose this is where I am, there is reflection. Reflection on the lessons learned. As I look back on my life I realize that for many of those scars I wasn't even in a place, initially, to see the lesson's learned. I understand that today I am in a better place to to see them for there lesson's and not there ugliness. What I did realize, on a very simple level, is that I have a great reminder every single day of the gift I have been given. And it comes in the form of something most look at as ugly, or at least hard to look at. To me it is the most beautiful thing in the world. I am proud of my scar. I am slowly learning that if I look not at the ugliness of the scar itself, but look at the beauty of the lesson's the scar taught me, I might just do a little growing. Maybe, just maybe, I won't forget. I know that as the day's pass, and I put distance between me and September 2009, it will get easier and easier to forget if I allow it. That's what I do. I let life get in the way, just like tonight when I was complaining about the weather and having to work in it.

So, I have changed my prayer. Now I pray that everyday I will meet a stranger who will ask me, "What happened to you arm?" Another thing to add to my gratitude list, scars.

Remember everyday to put one foot in front of the other, drink a lot of water, and don't forget to pray................

Two events occurred in my life Sunday evening that were the kind of events that cause a lot of questions. One was the feel good kind. The kind that makes you sit still and realize that there are people in this world who have God given talents that change the world. The other event was the kind of event that makes you realize there are people in this world who are just the opposite. They have something, I wouldn't call gifts, that do something that changes the world and makes you sit still and realize that there is truly evil in this world. What a conundrum. I, of all people know there are some really sick people in this world. But I guess after having been through all we have over the last several months, I have become more acutely aware of both the bad and good things that go on in this world.



The first was the good one. It was the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame 25th anniversary concert. I know what some of you Baptist's are thinking, rock and roll. I know, but the thing was I listened to some of the best musical artist's in the world. U2, Bruce Springsteen, Crosby Stills and Nash, James Taylor, Stevie Wonder. It was amazing. And during the middle of Simon and Garfunkel, my wife brought up the point that music just isn't what it used to be. What followed was a conversation about how music today just has no substance or meaning. What has happened? I know that during their time young men were being drafted and sent to a war that was killing them in record numbers. They wrote songs that had substance and meaning. Agree or not, they wrote about things going on in the world. And the music itself, no comparison to today's music. They had to be able to sing and play music. They did not have all the computers to "clean up" their voices, nothing to help their albums sound better. They could do it all, write it, play it, sing it. Today, most musicians sound terrible in person. It's all about the looks, the shows, the money. And I would venture to say that most of today's rock stars wouldn't have the first clue how to write a song or play an instrument. Thank goodness there are still a few around who can do those things. Music is important to me. I am not sure how to put my finger on it, but music is nourishment, peace, and many other things. I may not always be in the mood for the same kind of music, but I can always count on finding the music I want, when I want it. It helps me cry when I need to cry, laugh when I need to laugh, be still when I need to be still, and sing when I want to sing. Probably why it was said, "Make a joyful noise to the Lord".

The second event was the horrific tragedy in the state of Washington. I am sure all of you have heard by now that four Police Officers were murdered in coffee shop on Sunday morning. Three men and one woman gave the ultimate sacrifice. This event really hit home with me. Most of them were around my age. They were fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, friends, co-workers, and brothers and sisters to all of us in law enforcement. We are a very, very tight knit group. We take care of one another. Never have I seen that more than in our life over the last several months. I won't go into great detail now, I will save it for another blog, but the men and women of the Owasso and Collinsville Police Departments have been incredible. Even my mom has said several times she cannot believe how tight we are and how we take care of each other. I am now going to get on my proverbial soap box. I think sometimes it is forgotten what Police Officers do on a daily basis. I understand that it is easy to do. I know as Police Officers, we are looked upon as ticket writers, men and women who are a necessary evil. I get it. I, like everyone else, still get that sinking feeling when you look in your rear view mirror and see the cop car behind you. And I do it for a living! Ours is a thankless job. Not a thinkless, a thankless job. When we are called it is usually when people are not at their best. We are called when grown ups cannot solve their own problems. We are marriage counselors, babysitters, mediators, and report takers. We are usually the ones who tell families they have lost a loved one. We respond to and investigate domestic violence, child abuse, shootings, homicides, sex crimes, and barking dogs. We deal with drug users who cannot take care of their own kids. I am part of the Tulsa County District Attorney's Task Force on crimes against children. You can only imagine what we deal with. We see and deal with things most people couldn't deal with. I still have nightmares from time to time about some of the things I have seen. Ever been at the grocery store with your wife and have a person, who you arrested two nights before, follow you around while you are shopping? Ever had someone you have arrested knock on you front door? I have, both. Ever had someone tell you when they get out of prison they are going to find you and kill you? Yep several times. And then there are those who will be the first to file a complaint on us for driving to fast to a call, but then will complain on us when they call and we don't get there fast enough. They want us to arrest someone else for something we can't arrest them for, but when they or a family member do something we have to arrest them for, they fight us. And finally, we as Officers, know every time we put on our uniform and go to work, it could be the last time we see our families. Part of our oath of office is we will lay down our life to protect our citizens. And if need be, we will, with honor. And we do it all with very little pay. Most of us have to work part-time jobs just to get by. My families hearts and prayers go out to the family, friends and co-workers of the fallen Officers. The ultimate sacrifice. I cannot imagine the pain they are feeling right now. I will get off my soap box now. I have spoken my peace, if you will. If you see a Police Officer today, thank them for what they do, buy them a cup of coffee, let them know you appreciate what they do. The last two months has renewed my desire to be a cop. I want to go back and be the best I can. It's one of those core changes I hope I don't ever loose again.

Paul Harvey said it well:

The Policeman

What is a Policeman? By Paul Harvey

A policeman is a composite of what all men are I guess, a mingling of saint and sinner, dust and diety. Culled statistics wave the banners over stinkers, underscore instances of dishonesty and brutality because they are news. What that really means is that they are exceptional, they are unusual, they are not commonplace. Buried under the froth are the facts and the fact is less than one-half of one percent misfit that uniform and that is a better percentage than what you'd find among clergymen. What is a policeman? He of all men is at once the most needed and the most wanted; a strangely nameless creature who is "Sir" to his face, "pig" or worse behind his back. He must be such a diplomat that he can settle differences among individuals so that each will think he won. If a policeman is neat, he's conceited. If he's careless, he's a bum. If he's pleasant, he's a flirt. If he's not, he's a grouch. He must make instant decisions that would require months for a lawyer. But if he hurries, he's careless -if he's deliberate, he's lazy. He must be first to an accident and infallible with a diagnosis. He must be able to start breathing, stop bleeding, tie splints and, above all, be sure the victim goes home without a limp. Or, he must expect to be sued. The police officer must know every gun, draw on the run and hit where it doesn't hurt. He must be able to whip two men twice his size and half his age without soiling his uniform and without being "brutal". If you hit him, he's a coward - if he hits you, he's a bully. A policeman must know everything and not tell. He must know where all the sin is and not partake. The policeman must, from a single human hair, be able to describe the crime, the weapon, the criminal, and tell you where the criminal is hiding. But if he catches the criminal, he's lucky; if he doesn't, he's a dunce.If he gets promoted, he has political pull. If he doesn't, he's a dullard. The policeman must chase bum leads to dead ends, stakeout 10 nights to tag one witness who saw it happen but refuses to remember. He runs files and writes reports until his eyes ache to build a case against some felon who'd get dealt out by a shameless shamus or an honorable who isn't honorable. The policeman must be a minister, a social worker, a diplomat, a tough guy, and, of course, a genius, for he has to feed a family on a policeman's salary.

(Paul Harvey's own father was a policeman, who was killed by a bootlegger on Christmas Eve when Paul was a little boy.)

I know I haven't written in a while, and now I have "blogged" twice in the last two days. It seems the main theme of our lives here lately has been a day or two of big news, then hurry up and wait. With not much happening in the mean time. To let you know, there is also a new post just previous to this one, so there are actually two new ones. To begin, Rebecca and I went to my appointment with the surgeon yesterday. Going in, I had prepared myself to hear that my arm would require me to be off work for the next several weeks. I did not want to get my hopes up, and we had shifted gears and begin preparing ourselves for that. However, he told us the graft is now fully taken and the skin is strong, and that not only can I begin using my hand and arm again, but I will be able to go back to full duty next week! We are so grateful! I am really looking forward to going back to work. I still have to put ointment on it and keep it wrapped for the next two weeks. Then I will be able to expose it, only having to massage it each night, for a while, with Vitamin E Oil. He doesn't want to see me again until February. What a miracle!

I have been truly humbled yesterday and today. When Rebecca, Mom and I met with the surgeon that first day in his office, I never thought that only two months later I would be going back to work. I fully expected to be undergoing some kind of treatments, sick, and either in bed at home or the hospital. I saw on the news earlier this week the Rev. Billy Joe Daugherty had passed away. He was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma around the same time I was diagnosed. (For those of you not from around here, he is the pastor of a very large church in Tulsa called Victory. They have a school and Bible College as well.) Since they are somewhat associated with Oral Roberts University, I have met him a couple of times. He passed away while at MD Anderson Hospital in Houston. He had been battling an infection due to the chemo depleting his immune system. His was a cancer, statistically, that is much more treatable than mine. The long term survivability rates of mine are much more dim. My heart and prayers go out to him and his family and friends. But it caused me to realize that you just never know. By all rights I should have cancer somewhere else. Why am I healed and he is not? Why has my extreme, bad case, turned out to be such a miracle and his didn't. Who knows. It will be a question I ask my creator some day. What I do know is that illness and death are no respecter of persons or situations. And truly, bad things happen to good people. The results of free will and living in a world of sin. Mine is a miracle that is the result of love, prayers and support. Many times over the last several days I have gotten emotional just thinking about what a miracle this has been, and how blessed we are to have such great family, friends, and workplaces. I wish I could thank each of you face to face. But no matter what we do or say, we can never repay what we have been given, nor are there sufficient words in the English language to express or gratitude to all of you for the love, prayers, and support.

I wrote about mothers on my previous blog. I wrote about my mother and how our relationship has grown. I feel the same about my father. He has been there for me everyday, step by step. And I cannot thank him enough. I cannot imagine having gone through this without him. He has been here for us in every way imaginable. One of the biggest for me has been being able to pick up the phone and call my dad on those days where my head wasn't in a good place. Just talking to him, even if not about the cancer, always helps me get back to the right frame of mind. My parents have taught me so much about unconditional love and support, and continue to help me learn how to be a better parent. I wish I could express to you how much this experience has changed my family but I just cannot. I try and remember every day not to take for granted that we will always be here, and that life can change that at any moment. Again, what a great time to learn how to be truly grateful for my family. One of the other lesson's that my parents have taught me is that gratitude needs to be an everyday, vital part of my life.

It is so easy to get caught up in the everyday dealings and problems in life. It is easy to allow those things to get me down and frustrated. We have had our share of those things of late. Anna's tooth incident started this week off. After they got home from the dentist Sunday, Rebecca and I were sitting on the back porch and she told me that the dentist asked her at one point if we still have a certain dental insurance. She replied yes to which the dentist answered, "I wish you didn't". I told Rebecca, that is code for get ready for a huge bill. We will probably be paying of medical bills for years to come. Then Monday Rebecca lost her debit card. We had to cancel it. I picked up her paycheck from work this morning thinking we would be able to deposit it today, but no, the city post-dated it for Friday. It's always something. Gratitude. During these times it always helps me to take an inventory of myself and all the things I am grateful for. Amazing how well it works for me. And today, I am thankful to be alive, thankful for my wife, kids, and all my family and friends. Thankful that in this economy I have a good job. I am thankful I have a car to drive, clothes to wear, a warm house to live in. I am thankful that I live in a free country. I am thankful that I am not in a hospital or going through chemo. You know what is funny, today I am most grateful that I am again typing with two hands! Wow what I take for granted in life. Taking things for granted. Okay, I will save that for another day. This post is getting long I know.

Well I will stop now. Thank you, thank you, thank you! We love each and everyone of you. My prayer is that all of you will have the best Thanksgiving ever. And that we all focus on what is important in life, and that's each other. May God bless you the way he has blessed us.

Remember everyday to put one foot in front of the other, drink a lot of water and don't forget to breath.........