Finally the sure signs of spring. Warm weather and wind. Wind that foreshadows the coming storms. I love spring time. By far my favorite time of year. I love to sit on the porch, out of the rain of course, and watch the storms lumber through. The thunder, the lighting, and that fresh smell after the rain promising green grass, blooming trees and flowers. And nights slept with the windows open. So much better than cold and snow, especially the older I get. The body is much happier.

Before I get into why I am writing today, let me first give a background. A month or so ago, there was a meningitis out break in a small town called Oologah about eight miles north of Collinsville. (Collinsville is where I work.) Several young children at the elementary school were infected. Three passed away. One was a young girl who actually lived in Collinsville. Several days after she passed away I spoke with her father. Heartbreaking. One 7 year old, Jeremiah , was infected but is still alive. That's the good news for him. The horrible news is he has had to have both his arm's and leg's amputated, and is currently out of state to have his facial reconstruction surgery. This morning several of the local Fraternal Order of Police Lodges came together and put on a fundraiser. The Lodges from Collinsville, Owasso, Tulsa, Broken Arrow, Jenks and Glenpool each set up at different locations in their cities and took donations. I was amazed as we stood in the bank parking lot and watched person after person donate money to his family. Some giving five dollars, some hundreds of dollars, but each giving what they could. It was simply humbling to watch. It gave me a little faith in humanity again. One of the fallout's of being a Police Officer is you become much more pessimistic and extremely sceptical of people. We don't usually see the good side of humanity. At the Collinsville/Owasso location we ended up raising $9700.00, with the combined total of all locations around $40,000.00 Absolutely amazing!

It's been on my mind all day. While we were standing there this morning we talked about how hard it would be to have all your limbs removed. Not to mention the agony the parents must be going through right now. At some point during the day, and for no explainable reason, a conversation I had with an old friend the other day came to mind. We were chatting on the Internet and he said something to the affect of let's have lunch sometime, you have quiet a story to tell. I didn't think much of it at first, and I am not really sure why it stuck in my head, but I think I am starting to understand now. I began to realize that no matter what, life is going to deal us all hard times. Things that, like I stated in my previous blog, are out of our control. Being diagnosed with cancer, losing a job, other illnesses, death, things that happen due to no fault of our own. It got me to thinking about my life. Yes, I have had some rough times. Especially lately. My family and I have been through a lot. But as I pondered my whole life the thing that keep resonating in my mind was most of my hard times in life were due to my poor decision making. It occured to me that there are two types of rough times, those that we have no control over, and those that happen due to poor choices. Most of my "bad" times were created by a poor decisions I had made. I know that most wouldn't find this to be a revelation. Most people figure that out pretty early in life. I guess I knew it as well, I just had never thought about it before.

As I think about it I guess the reason it is on my mind is two-fold. One, make better decisions. Life is going to hand me enough without my adding to it. There is no sense in me adding to my own problems by making bad choices. I have realized over the last few years I have made better decisions. Granted, I still have my moments of brain dead. And some decisions I make, I may have to wait to see if it was the right one or not. Sometimes the only judge of a good or bad decision is time. But I try harder today. The other issue on my mind is pity. There have been times in my life that I have pity partied about situations and circumstance. I now realize, especially when the "bad" time was due to my poor decision, that I have no right to pity party. It's like never brushing my teeth then whining about a tooth ache, or not paying rent then complaining about being homeless. Then, and this is what I was reminded of while raising money that morning, it could always be worse. There are many people out there who have it a lot worse due to no fault of their own. Those children and families did not ask to get sick. They did nothing to deserve it. But it happened. It reminded me how short my memory is. While I was sick, one of our favorite sayings was, it can always be worse. And it can. I guess the main lesson in all of this for me has been, once again, gratitude. How soon I forget. And no matter what happens pity serves me no purpose. It keeps me from moving forward. It keeps me in a place in my mind that blocks out all reason and sanity. It is a poison that effects every area of my life. Bad things are going to happen. We live in a world of sin and imperfection. The key for me will always be, when those times come, how will I handle it. What will I chose? To be as positive as possible and move forward, or stay stuck in pity? Hopefully I will also remember when making decisions not to add to those times!

Remember every day to put one foot in front of the other, drink a lot of water, and don't forget to breath.........