Monday, September 26, 2011


I was just reading a blog by a friend of mine about change. He used the example of people being against the changes to Facebook, and used that to talk about how life is about change and we must learn to be flexible and accept that change is going to happen no matter what. The real key is in how we handle that. As you can imagine it really struck home with me. My family has done nothing but see change in our lives for the last two years. What struck me was the part about acceptance because that to me is the key to dealing with change. So l looked up several different definitions of acceptance here is the one I liked best. Acceptance: The act of accepting; a receiving what is offered, with approbation, satisfaction, or acquiescence; esp., favorable reception; approval; as, the acceptance of a gift.

I am learning a really good lesson in my life right now. I know that things have changed. I know that things will continue to change, for better or worse. My cancer is proving to be something very uncontrollable. The last week or so I have started having nausea again, being really tired, having a very sore mouth due to the chemo, almost to the point I am having trouble eating. I am also not steeping well. Again writing this at 3:30 in the morning. I know that my body will continue to change, due to the cancer and all of the chemicals they are pumping through my body. I get it. I understand change that is out of my control better than I ever have. What I have a hard time with is the acceptance part. Usually my acceptance comes with an attitude of I will deal with it but I don't have to like it. What struck me is that all of the definitions that I read, somewhere in the definition, refered to accteing being a positive thing. Like the one above stated, "favorable reception: approval: as, the acceptance of a gift". I don't know about you but I don't see nausea and throwing up as a gift. I also know that having a new boss who you don't like doesn't seem like a gift. Nor do new job regulations or requirements. We all have those people we work with or a family member we have to accept as a "favorable gift". Surely an illness or death cannot be seen as a gift. The loss of a job, a cut in pay, an unwanted move, I could go on and on. It's all about those changes that life brings, want them or not.

I think what God is trying to impress upon me is that if I really want to find peace in all of this, if I want to be happy no matter my circumstances, is that I must accept whatever comes with the best attitude that I can possibly have. It's not easy, nor is it done over night. It is, for me, a process over time and a lot of work. There have been a VERY few times in my life where I was able to do that. And talking to and watching others, I realized those times that I and they were able to do that, those situations became non-issues for them. I didn't even think about it anymore. I just went on with whatever I was supposed to be doing, giving that situation no second thought. It didn't let it "rent any space in my brain". Maybe acceptance is seeing whatever I am dealing with as a gift. Maybe I am to focus on the good things that can come from that situation. I should focus on what I can learn through it that will make me a better person. Maybe I will learn what I don't want to be or act like. Maybe it will help me see the kind of boss I don't want to be, should I ever become the boss. It could teach me to be a better coworker. Maybe a better family member or friend. I do know that if I can do any of this, and it's a big if, I will grow and become a better person. It's hard to see throwing up or being nauseas as gift, but I still have to focus on the good. Like, I could be in bed waiting for the end. At least I can walk to the bathroom to throw up! And at least I can walk to my medicine cabinet to get my nausea medicine when I need it. And driinking a malt or shake when I can't swallow food, well they are never bad things! It's ice cream for crying out loud! Is acceptance a gift. Today yes. Talk to me tomorrow and the answer may be different! But what I do know is this, it is another challenge in life that if I allow it, can make me a better person. Change will come no matter what, the question is what will I do with it? And will I see it for the gift that it can be? Stay tuned..........

Remember everyday to put one foot in front of the other, drink a lot of water, and don't forget to breath....................


  1. Great post got me thinking about my life. If you guys need anything let us know. Prayers for you and your family!

  2. Andy,
    You are already giving a wonderful gift to your family and friends....the gift of your strength, courage and love. The gift of your fighting spirit, and the gift of accepting those things that come your way with dignity and grace. I know that you are tired and nauseous, but that is your bodies reaction to the chemo, which is fighting for you. I used to say that I was going to get a shirt that said: "I used to avoid hazardous chemicals, but now I am one" from all of the chemo treatments. And you are right in seeing Ice Cream as a gift....right along with milk shakes and fruit icy drinks. Really, banana pudding is right there at the top for me, and I hope you can find something that tastes good to you right now and makes you smile! Enjoy this beautiful weather, my friend. Listen to the wind chimes as they sing in the wind, and walk barefoot in the cool Autumn grass. You and your sweet wife have a picnic together! God Bless!

  3. It breaks our hearts for what you are going through. We pray for you constantly. WE LOVE YOU! Grandma and grandpa Day

  4. Andy, Rebecca, you are amazing! I get such inspiration from reading your blog and am making a book from your blogs. You have been given a gift of expression of the heart and this should be published as you walk this walk. I pray for you and have my prayer warriors alerted all over for you all. Victory is for the beholder. Love you all. Just wish we lived closer so we could do more on a regular basis. Mary Jo and David